Early on in one of our Coaching in the Moment® workshops this week a participant looked at me with all earnestness and said, “I still don’t get why we can’t just tell people what to do? Why do we need to coach them?” What is implied is telling people what to do is faster and easier, so why bother taking a coaching approach.
The heart of the difference between coaching and telling people what to do lies in how are brains are wired. Real coaching focuses on creating insight – an “aha” experience” – that literally builds a synapse in the person’s brain. That new learning creates engagement. Telling people what to do results in people complying with your demand if you are able to imply enough of a threat or an appealing reward to compel them to do so.
Compliance is a very low and costly bar. People who only comply often shy away from taking risks, generally avoid taking responsibility and certainly don’t contribute any more than is needed to get by. People who are engaged make the extra effort, value learning, and contribute their creative efforts to addressing challenges.
Continue reading "Real Coaching = Real Engagement = Real Competitive Advantage" »
I just returned from a terrific conference for master
coaches were we had the opportunity to be in dialogue with Brian Johnson, the
creator of PhilosophersNotes. If you aren’t familiar with Philosopher’s Notes I highly recommend that you
check it out. Tag line: More wisdom in less time. Brian has summarized the “big ideas” from
one hundred self-development books into six-page PDFs and 20-minute MP3s, where
he shares his insights with a joyful and infectious enthusiasm.

One of the “big ideas” Brian shared at the conference that
particularly resonated for me was the reminder that its consistency around the
fundamentals that separates great performance from the merely good. Great performers in all areas give
their attention and focus to mastering the foundational skills upon which their
performance is based. I know this
from my experience as a dancer.
There’s a reason every dance class begins with bar exercises – whether
you’re just starting out or are a professional dancer – you begin with the foundational
skills.
That got me thinking about the “fundamentals” for a coaching
culture. What are the foundational
things that an organization needs to do consistently to create and maintain a
culture where ongoing development, collaboration and creativity are part of the
essential ethos of the experience?
Here’s my list:
Listen for meaning
The old adage that you will hear what you listen for is
true. Most organizations I’ve
encountered have very poor listening habits. Most are lucky if they listen well enough to accurately
glean the information that is being conveyed, let alone the underlying meaning
that is always present but rarely perceived.
Continue reading "The Fundamentals of a Coaching Culture" »
Our lives are, in many
ways, defined by the questions we are willing to ask and answer. What’s possible? What’s getting in my way? What is truly meaningful? It’s when we are willing to challenge
some of the foundational assumptions that form the underpinnings of our lives
that we discover new possibilities.
The same is true with
organizations. Organizations can
get locked in a stranglehold of their own assumptions about how things are and
therefore must be. They
collectively say things like, “We are nice,” or “We are all about action.” Often this way of being has become so
familiar that they barely even notice the true impact of choosing to be this
way, or the very fact that it’s a choice at all. It’s “just the way things are.”
Continue reading "Asking the Big Questions" »
One of the first lessons that coaches need to learn is that they can’t carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Often, with their deep desire to make a difference, coaches will take on responsibilities that rightfully belong to their clients. When clients don’t take the actions they committed to take, coaches may feel like their coaching “weren’t good enough.” Rather than calling the client on the broken commitment, they may feel guilty or inadequate as a coach. And then they try even harder. This doesn’t serve the client or the coach.
The same dynamic shows up for imaginal cells -- people who are guiding organizations to evolve to coaching cultures. (See the 09.09.09 blog entry, Invitation for more information on imaginal cells.) People who are guiding these large change efforts can burn out quickly if they are not effectively engaging their organizations in the transformation process.
Here are some signs that you may have an “Atlas complex” – the desire to carry the weight of the entire change effort on your back:
- You find yourself cajoling people to take any kind of action – and then picking up the pieces when they don’t, rather than having a deeper conversation about their commitment to create meaningful change
- You feel overwhelmed by all of the activities you’ve got going and underwhelmed by the response from the organization
- You seem to care about creating change a whole lot more than almost anyone else, and at times, this may make you feel upset, misunderstood and / or unappreciated
Continue reading "The Atlas Complex" »
When I am in initial
conversations with an organization about starting an initiative to integrate
coaching-based leadership into the DNA of the organization, one of the first
questions I ask is “How do you envision coaching-based leadership adding value
to the business?” If the answer
sounds something like “Well, we just need coaching skills” that’s a huge red
flag for me.

In my experience, if the
people spearheading a coaching initiative can’t articulate the value to the
business one of two outcomes is likely:
The initiative
won’t get off the ground, usually because there’s insufficient support (read, insufficient
budget.)
OR
The initiative
will be sputter out under its own weight, since no one is quite sure why they are investing in something with no clear expected return.
“Just because” isn’t a good enough reason to engage in coaching-based leadership.
Continue reading "Linking Coaching-Based Leadership to the Business" »
As the CEO of Cylient I often work with people who are keenly interested in evolving the cultures of their organizations to be more flexible, collaborative, responsive and vital. Places where people feel valued and inspired to contribute their creative energy towards achieving something that makes a difference.
I call these people who seek to create cultural change “imaginal cells.” Imaginal cells are the cells that begin the “rewiring” process that changes the DNA of the caterpillar to transform into a butterfly. The first imaginal cells begin to find each other and clump together, creating a threshold for change. See this link for a more detailed explanation of the role of the imaginal cell in the transformation process: http://www.cadi.ph/Editorials/Editorial_Butterfly_Effect.htm
Imaginal cells can reside in many different places in organizations. They are not necessarily the most senior people or the recognized thought leaders, although they may play those roles. They are the people who see that how we’re working isn’t always working. And they want to do something about it.
Continue reading "Invitation" »
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